Thoughts on L-O-V-E

(originally written January 2009)

So the other night as I waited with my wife in the Beverly ER (another story for another time) an article written by Lisa Miller in a recent edition of Newsweek caught my eye. The article was about gay marriage, with a specific emphasis on

(a) the numerous examples of non-monogamous heterosexual relationships in Scripture and
(b) its apparent silence on the issue of homosexuality, with the exception of a few "throw away" passages.

As I read on the author cited numerous examples in Scripture where Jesus is seen reaching out to those on the fringes, the social outcasts of his day. In summation, Miller quoted scholar Walter Brueggemann as saying the Biblical case for homosexuality wasn't so much in specific texts as the "general conviction that the Bible is bent toward inclusiveness."

Inclusiveness. That got me thinking.

Tolerance. Acceptance. Inclusiveness. These modern buzzwords are generally used in a universal-moral-code kind of context; i.e. to love your fellow man (persons?) is to, in the words of Jean Valjean, "see the face of God." My issue with this article was not so much in its Scriptural case for gay marriage (though it was as the saying goes, "an inch deep and a mile wide") as much as it was in a trend I see absolutely everywhere now in the secular world, and increasingly (and alarmingly) in the Christian church: the redefinition of love.

The logic goes something like this: You say you're a Christian? You want to be like Jesus? Well Jesus was loving. He accepted those "dirty sinners." He hung out at a well with a "promiscuous" Samaritan woman. Who are you to judge me? Judging is pharisaeical. You know where Pharisees go. (this last one is gleefully trumpeted by many liberal denominations who understandably have had their fill of dry orthodoxy.) But there's always something missing. Something bigger than ourselves that loves us but WANTS better for us.

Something that gives us hope. Hope beyond what we poor beggars can offer each other. The part where after the incredible gift of unconditional love and acceptance comes the "Now go and sin no more." The part where we realize the way we've been living is killing us, that it's not how God designed us to operate. This is the second part of love that is inextricably linked with the first because while it would be easier to just "be ok" with how someone is living, true love wants what's best for someone, whether they themselves know (or are willing to admit) what that is yet.

This Saturday my son will (amazingly) turn 17 months old. He's freakishly tall for his age and can now reach everything that isn't suspended from a floating shelf or bookcase. As you might imagine this has made life considerably more interesing, in addition to making me immensely more aware of my surroundings (though my wife might differ with me on this point:) ). My bleary-eyed mornings have turned into relentless games of monitoring EVERYTHING J. gets into.

And he loves buttons. Buttons on the TV, buttons on the microwave, and buttons on the stove. Outlets, teetering glass dishes, batteries freshly excavated from the remote; this is a world of endless fascination. Till dad says "NO". The look on his face is curious, sometimes startled. You can see the deductive wheels already turning. "Why not Dad? This is all part of my playing, discovering the world around me, how things feel, etc. This gives me joy. Don't you want me to be happy?" "Indeed I do. More than I ever could have understood. But I also know how it feels to be cut, burned, bruised and scared. And I don't want any of those things for you."

More than I desire my son's acceptance (which I do desire), more than I want to be his buddy (which I long for), I want him to be healthy. Safe. Have a long full life full of love and hope and friends and family and to be an old man with stories and a swing on his porch and a twinkle in his eye that makes you feel like all great grampas do, like they could be YOUR grandpa. I want things for him that give him life. Not take it away.

So while I fully acknowledge it would be a much easier world if Scripture in fact had nothing to say about homosexuality, or drunkenness, or sloth, or greed, or pride, or materialism, it does. And as Christians we historically have been pharisaeical and hypocritical and all the rest. We have condoned "acceptable" sins and demonized others. God, however, does not do this. The arrogant, judgemental elderly lady in the quilting circle is just as guilty as a pedophile in God's eyes. We need to remember where we came from. "He who has been forgiven much loves much", and we need to remember we all have a lot to be forgiven for.

I am not looking down my self-righteous nose at you because I disagree with your lifestyle. I am trying to be faithful to the ultimate and only perfect embodiment of love. I can't very well point at your wounds and say "hey, you're a bloody, stinking mess" when I have open wounds and festering sores just as ugly. We both need help. So the great physician takes us into his immaculate ER (where I can only presume there are no Newsweeks) and admits us though we don't have a penny (I suppose this could be called the ultimate universal health care:)). He tends to our wounds and says, "Now how did you get these wounds? Oh really? Well you need to stop playing with those knives. And you, sir? Playing in used car oil all week and not showering? Yes, that will cause disease."

Put down the remote, J. I love you, GOD'S perfect, now YOU change. Because I want better for you.